Archive for the Shit n’ Giggles Category

WTF WWF?

Posted in Shit n' Giggles, The Man with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 9, 2011 by Free Smith

I, like so many others was an avid fan of the WWF. I’ve never been a WWE fan, but I loved the hell out of the WWF. All of the action, the drama, the laughs. It was perfect entertainment. Any post-pubescent person should realize by now that professional wrestling isn’t real. It’s a cast of athletes/actors flying and tossing each other around for our enjoyment. However, there is something very real when it comes to ‘wrasslin’: negative Black stereotypes. Excellence isn’t even synonymous with Blacks in the WWE. Duane ‘The Rock’ Johnson is the only Black man to ever hold the WWE Championship and that was ten years ago (and he’s half Samoan). Here’s a list of stereotypical Blacks who have graced the ‘squared circle’ in the WWE:

Virgil
For all intensive purposes, Virgil was The Million Dollar Man’s slave. He carried his belt and did his bidding.

Junkyard Dog
JYD never really did anything stereotypical or acted in a negative way. He was, however, a junkyard dog.

Nation of Domination
A lot of Blacks were fans of the Nation Of Domination. Headed by Farooq (in real life, Florida State football legend Ron Johnson) and the starting point of The Rock (known as Rocky Maivia then), they were strong, serious and took no nonsense from anybody. On the flipside, they were the ‘angry black guys’ getting booed by the fans. In true ‘crabs in a barrel’ fashion, The Rock ousted Farooq as the leader and took over.

Koko B. Ware
He was dressed in brightly colored clothes and was known for bringing his parrot with him to the ring. He was never really taken seriously.


Papa Shango/The Godfather/Kama Mustafa
The Godfather was a flagrant pimp and his catch phrase was “Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy”. One time, he was actually able to steal the Undertaker’s signature urn. What’d he do with that power? He melted it down and made some ‘bling’ out of it. He was also a member of the Nation of Domination. His name was Kama Mustafa.

Mr. Shango was a witch doctor/voodoo man from ‘parts unknown’. That’s all that needs to be said.

He’s now known by his legal name, Charles Wright and he owns a Vegas strip club called, Cheetah’s.


Thuggin’ And Buggin’ Enterprises

This was a group of Black wrestlers, headed by Theodore “Teddy” Long, who constantly pulled the race card and stressed that they were being held down by the White man.

Kenneth “Slick” Johnson
Slick was the manager of Akeem and The Big Boss Man. He’s known for rapping in his theme song, “Jive Soul Bro” and eating big buckets of fried chicken or ‘yard bird’ as he called it.

Kamala
Kamala was a large, spear and shield wielding, mask wearing man with his face painted and his torso was adorned with stars and a moon. He was a ‘Ugandan cannibal’.

D-Lo Brown
He was the Nation of Domination soldier known for his signature ‘head wobble’. He would also go on to be a member of Thuggin’ and Buggin’ Enterprises.

Mark Henry/Sexual Chocolate
He started out as Mark Henry, international weight lifting champion and Strongman competition winner. He then joined the Nation of Domination and after that went on to become ‘Sexual Chocolate’, a Blaxploitation-esque playboy of sorts. He was also a member of Thuggin’ and Buggin’ Enterprises.

In closing I’m sure there are some I missed. Nevertheless, don’t be mad at these guys. They were playing the game in order to make money which they did. Don’t hate the player. Hate the game.

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Bent: Velicoff Vodka

Posted in Good Times, Shit n' Giggles, Whatever with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 29, 2010 by Free Smith



Hilariously enough, these are the only pictures in the Googleverse of Velicoff. I’m sure that the majority of you have never heard of Velicoff. You most certainly have heard of it if you attended Howard University anywheres between 2002 to about ’06, especially if you were a house party aficionado like myself and my chums. At less than $10 per handle, the price is right to make an abundance Jungle Juice for any soiree that you may be planning. Shout out to those 618 boys. Much love from Dj Free.There’s a Velicoff everywhere though i.e. Burnett’s, McCormick’s. Drinks like these are if you don’t feel like droppin’ dough on the big boys i.e. Ciroc, Belvie, Goose and what have you. They’re all the same with a proof around 80 and 40% alcohol by volume, but the distinct difference that I’m seeing is that the big guys are actually distilled from something. Belvie: rye; Ciroc: grapes; Goose: grain; Velicoff: n/a. LOL. But there is a trick. Finish off a bottle of the good shit, save the bottle and fill ‘er up with some Veli. You can get away with this. A friend of mine did this and a couple of my other numbskull friends fell for it hook, line and sinker. I’ll admit, the okey-doke was pulled on me too by the same dude, but I was skeptical because of the severe burning sensation I experienced in my throat (PAUSE). That’s the way to tell. The good shit is smooth. The terrible shit burns. Cheers.